Thursday, January 05, 2006

Hierarchy of U.S. citizenship, 2006.

Citizen. Born in America. Typically white males and females. Asians are acceptable, but should mind their place. Enjoys the rights expressed in the Bill of Rights, unless the George W. Bush Executive BranchTM issues a legal ruling to the contrary.

Second-class citizen. Born in America. Typically males and females of color, with little or no distinction made between persons of African, Caribbean, Mexican, Latin, Arab, Persian, etc., heritage. Theoretically, this caste class enjoys the rights expressed in the Bill of Rights. In practice, those rights may be compromised by Whitey in back alleys and on back roads. Rights are subject to legal rulings by the George W. Bush Executive BranchTM.

Naturalized citizens. Born on foreign soil, granted American citizenship. See definitions for Citizen and Second-class citizen.

Non-citizen residents, or aliens. Foreign-born, not American citizens. Theoretically, aliens are protected by the Bill of Rights while on American soil, but should expect to have Due Process defined as "thrown in a windowless room for an indeterminate amount of time" and an "open-ended one-way ticket to a country or countries of our choosing."

Enemy combatant. Citizenship is moot; an un-citizen. Enjoys those rights that are splendiferously and munificently bestowed by the glorious and just George W. Bush Executive BranchTM. The un-citizen's very existence will be decided by the George W. Bush Executive BranchTM. Reference to the existence or non-existence of any specific un-citizen may be punishable under laws promulgated by the George W. Bush Executive BranchTM.

Buttle. Fictional reference that has no place in a serious summary such as this.

Related reference:

Geneva Convention. What are you, a fucking pussy?


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